For the Swarm, For the Hoard, For SPARTA!!!...no, for me... V..V

Here I am, got no direction at the moment...just drifting, living, and not really enjoying any of it. I want to do something in my life, I want to move on in any direction...but here I be, stuck in the mud. With any directing better than where I am now, here...sinking, feeling nothing except for brief periods when I am around people I enjoy and love. For the remainder, here I am...at home, with my younger brother, who has started school again, and my father, who has started yet another job. They are both off during the day, which is nice because then i don't have to see them for the majority of the time...but, I'm still here and being with them...they just such the essence out of me. All my will is dashed away the moment they enter the door...I just don't want to be around them anymore, twenty years is enough for me.

I want to find my way, and I think I've found a solution...I am leaving. now I know what ya might think..."where are you going to go?", well, I know it's not the best solution but I'm off to West Virginia. It's nothing permanent though, I know...there's nothing really out there, well...I wouldn't say nothing, he's out there...waiting for me. I just need to be close to him for a while, near him...to hold him, and tell him everything will be fine. I won't be doing nothing now, I'm going to do what I can to find work out there...earn a little something to get by on and to get back on. I'll come back of course, I'm not going to miss MFF after all the hubbub I've made and the wait I went through to go to it.

I know I need to plan it out just a tad more than I have at this time, but I believe it's the best thing to do for me...to try and make it on my own, kinda, but mainly to get away form the old man and the twat. But the plan so far is, going out to the burbs this weekend, finish working things out on my end next week, then off to my bro's place in Ohio...and afterwords, him. From then there are two weeks till October, and the first weekend is the BBQ I told him I'd go to anyways...guess I won't have to worry about getting there since I should already be. As for the remainder, the rest of the month will pass by...and by then I should be certain about many things. Whether or not that was the wisest move, If being away from the terrible two will do me any good or if I'm just a feck up all the time and it's just convenient to blame them. The biggest of them all...but least I worry about is, if him and I are truly meant to be...of course everything feels right, the signs say yes, but you never truly know until you ask the question and give it enough time to answer back. Well, I guess it's time to give a shout out to the caverns of life...and just wait for it to give a holler back.

--Peace!