It seems that I have a problem

Well, as issues go it's not the worst...but, like most, it sometimes gets in the way of things. Yes, I am a dataphile...I love data, information, software, hardware...anything and everything, and it's starting to get worse. I'm starting to get picky about quality...for example, I have started recopying my CD collection all 250 albums...without researching file formats. Before I never heard of lossless, or even lossy...but now that I know I can't help myself but re-recopy them all into FLAC (Free Lossless Audio Codex).

After hours of research I have concluded that FLAC is where it's at...and not just 'cause that's what other people say. I've actually listened to my hi-rip MP3 192kb/s, uber hi-rip MP3 300+kb/s and my lossless FLAC files, and though there is only a small difference...I can still tell. FLAC is where it's at, exact audio copy, just like listening to the original CD. To me, it is just that much better and makes all the difference...whether I'm jammin' to my rock or jumpin' to my rap or just mellowin' out to my world and meditation, it feels like I'm sitting right there listening to a privet concert.

The question is, how does one rip and play FLAC...well there are only a few options and Apple really isn't one of them, but if there's a will there's a way. To rip Cd's into FLAC one can not rely on iTunes since it seems apple only made the FLAC plug-in for the mac, and that's only to read the format. But they're on the right track, they have even made there own lossless format ALAC (Apple Lossless Audio Codex)...the only problem with that is it's Apple Restricted, only Apple products can understand this strange language. So to rip I stuck by Winamp...though, looking into MediaMonkey and trying it out a bit, it was just too much stuff (even for me)...I blame the GUI.

But once you have to awesomely crystal clear lossless FLAC files, how do you play these jewels on portable players...none of them support FLAC at the moment, right? Wrong! Rockbox is the key to my lossless audio woes and as a bonus there are so many bits of awesomeness than even I know what to do with. Of course I've had Rockbox on my iPod for over a year now and trust me, it does everything you want you're iPod to do and then some. It's not limited just to iPod either, there are versions for many media players out on the market...maybe even one for you!

Of course it sounds like I'm just an audiophile, but let me tell you it's the same thing with ever thing else. Sure I'll get a cheap-o copy of a file from a torrent site but I'm always looking to get an even better copy. Games, Music, Videos, Pictures, Books, PDF's, and yes...even porn. It's all good, even if I don't look at it, listen to it, read it, watch it play it, or jerk to it all the time...but if I ever have a yearning for that one thing, isn't it good to have it than to not?

Life in the limbo lane...(not a low as you think, but it sure is close)

Here I am again...just sitting around, doin' a whole lot of nothing...though there is plenty I should or need to do, I don't have the modivation or drive to do so. I know the what, the how, even the where, but I don't have anything other than that. It's like building a swing set in the middle of the desert; I have the parts, the instructions, and the tools...but why the hell would I build a swingset in the middle of the desert. For some reason I lack the momentum to help myself...and so I always try and help out other, where and when I can.

I know the problem, I just have no clue what the solution might be...there are no goals in my life, short or long distant, there are none. Sure I have partial goals here and there, day-to-day...and yes I dream of various futures that would be nice to have happened, but yet there's a disconect and they never become stable, beliveable goals. Of course I know it's because I think to much about it...starting off, painting the goal with a broad brush, and go in to fill in the details with smaller, finer brushes. It never works out though, I make one stroke with the smaller brushes and I fined that it just doesn't work, but I give it a chance...I'll go back and clean it up later. Then a few more strokes...nope, I was wrong, time to start over.

It's all the little details that I worry about...that's why I'm never good with holidays (though I love to travle)...it's the, "what will I do when I get there" part...I could never travle alone. But this isn't a holiday, this is life...and even though there are people all around me to help me out, I need to make the first step. Oh, but there are so many chosies...to stay in Chicago, to leave Chicago. It seems when I think with my head...when I think of what I want to do for a living, Chicago (though not the only place) is where I'm at and where my kind of work is. But when I think heart...where and who I want to be with, I think of Morgantown...I think of Yuki. I stop thinking of me, and start thinking of him.

The argument could equally be made for the both of us: I have friends and family here, he has them there. He has good work out there, I (though curently unemployed) have decent work that will get even better in a short period of time. He has a place, I am curently working on a place of my own (but I'll get there). The thing is, when I think of the trade off...well, it seems I lose everything while he only loses the friends and family. It's Chicago, there's has to be something close to what he does that pays just the same (or better). Where as Morgantown, there's not a theater in sight...and if there is, I'm sure they have everyone they need (though I'm sure they haven't even heard of a WholeHog2 WYSIWYG Lighting board).

So with it all painstakingly writen out in plain English, with all the t's crossed and i's dotted...where dose that leave me? I've basicly told him all this and...well, I'm left standing on one foot in the middle of a tug-o-war....Love vs. Career. Can't I have both? I'm sure there is (another) answer (aside from him moving out here). But as of now, I still see nothing in the terms of advancement...and I'm scared that I'll either be stuck in a behind-a-counter sevice (food or retail) or I'll be an even bigger lump than I am here. Even here I can atleast call in everyday and (with some luck) get a hundred dollar day...or (with even more luck) a fivehundred dollar night.

But so far, Laddy Fortuna has continualy paddled me with her rudder (not as hot as one might think). Day after day my life heads down a new branch of a dark river while I'm blind folded, and instead of venturing into the unknown, like some brave soles do, I do my best to find a river bank and wait out the darkness. Is it the cowards way out...mm, maybe...but I rather wait and know the posible ends to the path then follow it blindly till I reach the waterfall at the end.