relationship...me? yes, no, maybe so.....on again, off again...back on?

ok so here i am putting my heart out for all...anyone needing a little somthing i'll help to my best, need an ear, anything, anything at all....unless you pissed me off! yeah i like to help others, i could never see myself doin it profesionaly or anything...just a drifting hobby you could say... or would you? anywho...so it was me and basicly me for quite awhile, i had my other personalities to keep me company, and i always had a few friends here and there....but then i get into a relationship...well that was quite awile ago. i'm not geting into details but my first real life relationship started around october...it was a nice gye i met up on myspace. now i know your not supose to do that and such but hay fuck off ok? so yeah me and him went out for a bit, and for some strange reason i didn't try to find out more about him, like i do all my online friends, before i really get into the relationship...and so we drifted, well thats what i thought. yeah so i broke up with him last saturday, oh and right before V-day....yikes! ok now that was bad of me...but hay it get worse...wel in the end anyways, ok so i got into my second relationship...she was a nice girl, it was somthing i never expected, right out of the blue. she came up about half way through november and said 'hay, so you wana go out', i said sure....what a block head. i didn't know she was into me like that...aparently she had a crush on me the year before but never spoke up...she was a freshman...only 16 as of this year. yeah...me, 18...big dif there...well leagaly...yeah know. but i was cool with it, i never thought it would get heavy and deep...oh so wrong. seems that's what she was into....well i just went with it...so cool, i thought...wrong again. we both had our own things before and after school...so no time to spend in the relationship. so yeah we both decided to break that off last wednesday....hay now i feel yeah. right before v-day still...and this was right before school started...her bad, but i was cool with it. so yeah, me in two relationships at the same time on either side of the line...oh you it you haven't figured this out i'm strait up bi. anywho...i was hopin i did the right thing...well i think it was for the best...yeah, i might be better off now...well not cocky like that. ok so me and one of my online friends is starting to get a little deep...he want me to be his boyfriend. i'm not sure if i'm ready for another relationship so soon but this one, he makes me feel nice inside...well still i'm not so sure. i've been trying to get over to him, he's in CA, but so far nothing...welli don't know about you but i'm feeling this blog/rant die down...well that was quite good....and two in one day. a new personal record!!! yeah...woot-woot! haahaa yeah...

new, and all that...the way i like it!

oh so i've been a little out there for...well, i'm not sure. i started this blog to do what most people do on blogs....yah know, post about there lives, and those people in it. yeah, i think i can do that! just one by one....take it day by day, do a little bitching here and there...then i can have the other kinds of posts whare i point out the obviouse, the neat, the cool...all that jazz. oh yeah did i mention the misspellings...every whare, now there might be a spell check at the top of the page but hay that makes it less me. i liked to feal rushed and under the pressure and i don't want to think over what i already wrote as i watch the bot crawl over my work, telling me what's what. no i'm not going to take that kind of abuse!! now here i am i click back a forth through meebo, myspace and blogger as somthing new happens every second i'm online. i wan't to try and stop the madness....but the thought of not knowin what's happening at that vary moent....it kills me. well just a bit...here and there, i liger about the page sklrawling my life on the web for all to see! what, dose that make me better or worse that you can find out everything you need to know with one click and then shove it in my face like some sort of fool. maybe i just don't care anny more...so what if i didn't get that job or got fired from that one if i hated that guy or that company and posted it up here or there.....code flings from left to right a div a src a img a:link and sofourth....fuck off! i controle the code and just let it be know nothing dose what it wants because the admin wants it, remeber i controle the code. it dose what i want it to do, because i skrawle it. now go get and be gone before i ban you from what i call my domain....

(now imangin that i'm yellin my lungs out)

A Trip To Remember...If We Ever Get There!!

well, well...here i am stuck in lake city, flordia...was in a car for 24 hours, then stuck it this nothing of a town! i hope the rest of this trip gose off with out a hitch, yeah know? ahh, but the people are nice, the ones i've seen, and everything is turing back the way we want it...yeah!

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oh that was bad....this post has been in my draft folder for almost three months. i got to start finishing my thoughts and posting more often. yeah, so many things have happend i just don't know whare to begin...!! a girl friend, a boy friend....and now both gone....hmmm, i should just post off and start anew....yo!

well there i am...peace out I/O